No Touch Era Is Officially Here: Sterile Delivered Meals, No Handshakes, Face Masks, VR Sex

The Future Is a No Touch World 

MC Hammer's Can't Touch This foretold of a world where humans stopped touching each other. The recent coronavirus galvanizes this trend, with people who are not normally germaphobes declining handshakes, like Angela Merkle's interior minister refusing to shake her hand. Will dating eventually be surgical gloves intertwined and mask mashing? Maybe. Although Biden with his inappropriate touching scandals may hope to change that if he is elected president. 

But, in a way, what can we expect with decades of sex education on avoiding venereal diseases, well meaning grandparents giving newborns herpes cold sores with pecks on the lips, and mass media causing a collapse of the tourism and events business in 2020. In the age of information, the primary virus is fear and paranoia, and all that takes is idea transmission. However, the behavior changes that follow in our no touching era will be explosions sales for flu masks, gloves, disinfectants like Lysol and hand sanitizer, cancel free live streaming entertainment and events, touch free meal delivery, along with surging rates of porn and adult sex toy sales. The world is too dirty, especially for war, which is why there are drones to do that nasty business. School and work are likely to go remote now with corporations and schools closing in Washington State and New York City. 

Quarantine is nothing new to the western mind however, as deadly diseases swept through Europe like the plagues, people figured something had to be done, and our instinct of avoidance is good about resulting in a no touch solution. 

So, how do you decline the next hand shake, like Doc Holiday, "forgive me if I don't shake hands", or by standing there and waiting until the eager outstretched hand is put back into its pocket holster? It's easy, simply say, I don't shake hands, because if nothing else we have gained in the self reliant age of burning man is the power of edgy assertiveness. 


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